Bullet the Mute Witness
CONTENT WARNING: MODERATE LANGUAGE (Against a scrolling red background with the Ugly NI, '70s style JuGo, and NHK logo, Takashi Edwards says "This is Public TV For Isuten, on viewer-supported JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV." PUBLIC TV FOR ISUTEN flips in, written in Kanji, along with the Ugly NI and '70s style JuGo.) W. Benny Bara and Saul Toby are enjoying a game of ping pong in the Roxy Recording Studio's recreation area. During the game, they compliment each other. For example: "Nice serve, Benny!" "You're not a bad server yourself, Saul." "I'll prove it!" That's when Saul serves the ball. It goes past Bara at high speed, violating all speed limits. Bara says, "Holy Moses, that was some power! Lucky for you it bounced off on my side before going over." Suddenly, Robin Kuno bursts in, saying, "Mr. Bara! Mr. Bara!" Bara and Saul stop playing. Bara asks, "Now what?" Robin says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is, I'll have to take a break from your group for a while." Bara asks, "And the good news?" Robin says, "My old group, Phony Nails Number 9, was the one that asked me to tour for them." Pause. Bara just says, "Well, good luck with your tour. I hope to record with you again this year." Robin says, "I'm pretty sure this tour of Japan will only last a month." Bara says, "OK, see you later." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (OP: "Hopscotch of Love" by Lovely and Wild Angels) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Today's episode "Bullet the Mute Witness" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The results of the finals are in. Shugo and the makeup artist, Haruki Korematsu, are staring at the results. Shugo was 3rd in her class, whereas Haruki was 5th in his. Shugo says, "I hope your parents don't mind your placing in the results." "They don't," Haruki says. "So long as I don't flunk the class." Shugo asks, "Anything interesting in the past few days?" "Ah, yes," Haruki says. "Awhile back, I was flipping through the channels on my TV. It was on channel 44 that I found something that brought back memories." Shugo asks, "What was it?" Haruki says, "Lark and Ciel. It's this cat-and-mouse, or rather, cat-and-chipmunk series of cartoons where Lark is easily frustrated in his attempts to catch Ciel." Shugo says, "I'd better tell my friends of this nostalgic treasure!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- And that she does. As the girls are leaving Isuten Junior High to start their summer vacation, Shugo says, "You've gotta check out this nostalgic show!" Sakura asks, "What nostalgic show?" Shugo says, "Lark and Ciel!" Sakura is confused. "Lark and Seal?" "No," Shugo says, having read the text just now typed. "Lark and Ciel. You know, that series of cartoons featuring that cat named Lark trying to catch that chipmunk named Ciel." Sakura says, "I'd better look that up!" Rizuka says, "I've got even more shocking news." Sakura says, "Tell me." Rizuka says, "Dad's going to be out of town for a month as he's going to tour with Phony Nails Number 9 for a while." Sakura is astounded. "By jingo, but that's sudden! Who's filling in for him?" Rizuka says, "A guy who wears a white mask on his face and a KFC bucket on his head." Sakura immediately recognizes this fellow. "Chickenhead!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, at the Roxy Recording Studio, W. Benny Bara is holding a meeting with his group: himself, Saul Toby, Tomi Shushin, Jo Futanari, Memo Ashita, Kris Pitts, and the newcomer--Burai Shiratori, a.k.a. Chickenhead. Bara says, "All right, I suppose you know why I called this meeting." Jo says, "We've got a new member." "Right," Bara says. "And I'd like to give a big welcome to our newest member, Burai Shiratori!" Chickenhead stands up and says, "Thanks. Now I suppose you know why I wound up in this band." Tomi says, "Because Robin Kuno is touring with Phony Nails Number 9?" "Exactly," Chickenhead says. "I'm not replacing him per se, because I'm planning on staying on board even after Robin returns." Memo asks, "Are you sure Mr. Bara's going to be fine with that?" "Memo, please!" Bara says. "I've always wanted a second lead guitarist to complement the first. Chickenhead's going to be a great second lead guitarist after Robin returns, right?" Chickenhead says, "Uh, yeah. Right." "See?" Bara says. "Chickenhead's going to be reliable. I mean, look at all the other bands he's performed with and the solo projects he's done! They're so precise I want to know what the hell's going on!" Chickenhead says, "They're all just my contribution to the music world." "'They're all just my contribution to the music world!'" Bara says. "How humble!" He continues, "So, I hope you guys make Chickenhead feel welcome as one of us! Meeting adjourned!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- We see an image of Rick Astley as he sings "Never Gonna Give You Up". The image is revealed to be part of a TV within Mansonia. Gacy, who's possibly the least evil of the Mansonian Reverends, is torturing Ramirez by Rickrolling her. "STOP!" Ramirez shouts. "MAKE IT STOP! I SAID MAKE IT STOP, DAMN YOU!" "Why do you always have to make such noise when you're mad?" Gacy asks. "If I didn't know better, I'd say your tolerance level for Internet memes is at zero." "Damn right it is," Ramirez snarls with clenched teeth. "No wonder you're a minion with an F in evil." Gacy says, "Now piss off before I toss a second meme at you!" Ramirez stays put. Gacy changes tapes from the Rick Astley tape to a short video of Mudkips. As she puts the tape in, she says, "So I herd u liek Mudkipz?" By this time, Ramirez is pissed. "Number 1, I don't, and number 2, I read the script, and what you just now said is spelled wrong." "No," Gacy says over the "Mud!" and "Kip!" being repeated over and over again. "It's the right way, which I got from the Internet." Gacy then ejects the tape and inserts a short tape title ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. At first, Ramirez is no worse than she already is. But when the phrase "All your base are belong to us" is looped repeatedly, she finally loses it and, shouting "YOU BITCH!", lunges at Gacy. She dodges. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" Ramirez looks around and sees Lady Marilyn standing there. She is not pleased. Ramirez says, "Gacy was Rickrolling me and exposing me to Mudkips and All Your Base!" "Be that as it may," Lady Marilyn says, "fighting is forbidden in Mansonia unless it's directed toward an enemy. Be grateful I'm not having you executed for this. Move along, both of you!" As Gacy and Ramirez part ways, the latter says, "I'm watching you, Gacy. Always watching. Always." Suddenly, Ramirez notices the TV blaring the news: "We interrupt this program to bring you a new message: Pistols N Flowers has just hired Chickenhead as its second lead guitarist, to alternate with Robin Kuno upon his return to the band." Ramirez says, "You damn fools laugh now. You'll soon be laughing on the other side of your face!" Then, without waiting for orders from Lady Marilyn, Ramirez teleports out of Mansonia. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Chickenhead is minding his own business when Ramirez appears. She says, "Why, hi there, Chickenhead. I think I'll have a good use for you." Chickenhead shouts, "Back off, bitch! Back! I warn ya!" Ramirez just smirks and summons an Akumana, which possesses Chickenhead immediately. She escapes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (Eyecatch 1: Rizuka and Shugo are jamming when Sakura runs past them and grabs the microphone. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.) (Eyecatch 2: The camera goes between Isuzu on her bass and Taiko in her drum kit and stops when Sakura with the microphone is in view. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- At home, Sakura is dancing with joy ("I got first in my class!") as she heads for her computer. Once there, she Googles Lark and Ciel. The results are astounding. One of them was of interest to her, so she clicked on it. "Lark and Ciel 3D movie to be released in summer of 2011... Today, at a press conference, Tanner Entertainment executive Red Tanner announced a tentative summer release date for Lark and Ciel: The 3D Movie. "'The animation is going smoothly, and the voices have already been recorded,' Tanner said. 'We're using the fastest possible 3D technology to achieve this summer release date.' "Among the confirmed voice actors are Klein Dickens and Danielle Montana as Lark and Ciel, respectively. Exactly when in the summer it'd be released Tanner did not say, but he hoped to have it released before August. "What a clever move, Red," Sakura says. "I can't believe they're doing a 3D movie of this." Sakura goes downstairs to watch some television. She turns to channel 10 when the local news blares, "This just in, more black magic is aboot in the Tri-Cities, eh? "Apparently, a guy resembling Burai Shiratori, also known by his stage name Chickenhead, left the Roxy Recording Studio and is scaring the population with his mask, eh? "The perpetrator appears to be a very evil woman named Ramirez, who Pretty Cure had turned in a couple of weeks ago and who quickly used this so-called black magic to escape, eh?" Sakura says, "A foreigner. I could tell because he said aboot and eh that he's probably from Canada." Tamaki, who had just come in, says, "You sure know your foreigners, Sakura. Last week you found a guy who pronounces his I's as oy and correctly identified him as Aussie." Sakura shouts, "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!" The two shout, "Oy, oy, oy!" "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!" "Oy, oy, oy!" "Aussie!" "Oy!" "Aussie!" "Oy!" "Aussie-Aussie-Aussie!" "Oy-oy-oy!" They both laugh. Suddenly, Sakura says, "I gotta go meet a friend. Saw something suspicious in the news just now, and it can't wait." "Go on, then," Tamaki says. "Just don't miss dinner." "Fair enough! Sayonara!" Then before you know it, Sakura is out the door. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- At the Kino house, Sakura says to her comrades, "She is back." Shugo says, "I just changed into my favorite outfit. I hope she doesn't get it dirty with her akumaho." Sakura says, "Your clothes are the least of your worries! Ramirez has struck again!" Rizuka asks, "OK, who did she possess this time?" Sakura says, "I have a strong feeling--and it's a lot stronger because of the recent channel 10 broadcast--that the next guy we have to exorcise is the new guy at Pistols N Flowers." Isuzu says, "That's just great. What was his stage name again?" Sakura says, "Chickenhead." Taiko says, "I swear, hasn't Ramirez done enough damage already? I mean, she's possessed a zombie, a scale model of a car, and one of Shugo's boys. What next?" Sakura says, "You don't wanna know. She's probably the most evil being that ever roamed the Land of All Music." Shugo shouts, "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" "Right! Pretty Cure, let's move in!" They had just reached the door when they realized that Shugo wasn't there. "What the hell is Shugo doing now?" Sakura asks. In just a few seconds, Shugo emerges from the stairwell carrying her gun. "Never go to a fight without it," Shugo says. "All right, that's reasonable enough. Now then. Pretty Cure, let's move in!" At that, the girls head on out of the house and all the way to the Roxy Recording Studio. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Meanwhile, Chickenhead is patrolling the Roxy Recording Studio when Pretty Cure shows up. "The musical genius with a voice that carries beyond all distances, I am Cure Nirvana!" "The pulsating rhythmical remedy to the universal Mansonian problem, I am Cure Stradlin!" "The bilingual rebel against Mansonia, I am Cure Hendrix!" "The classically trained musician who adapts herself to rock music, I am Cure Burton!" "The deadly drummer angel, I am Cure Roadie!" The girls then shout, "This is Pretty Cure!" Chickenhead approaches them blindly, but Cure Hendrix pulls out her Cure V-Guitar and plays a short guitar solo, shouting, "PRETTY CURE SOLO BLAST!" The noise scares Chickenhead, and he backs up. "What's the matter, Colonel Sanders?" Cure Nirvana asks. "Chicken? BAWK-BAWK-BAWK BAWK BAWK!" Then she pulls her Cure Mic out of Hammerspace and shouts, "PRETTY CURE VOCAL BLAST!" The magnitude of Cure Nirvana's voice is enough to drive the Akumana out of Chickenhead. He faints immediately. Cure Burton runs over to him. "Are you all right?" "Yeah," Chickenhead says. "Just got an ulcer from being possessed by that damn demon." "Cure Hendrix will deal with the demon now," Burton says. "Good." The Akumana pulls a gun out of Hammerspace and shoots six times, missing each time as Cure Hendrix stands rooted within the line of fire. Hendrix then whips out her own gun and fires. TAK! The bullet destroys the Akumana. Noting the fact that she wasn't hit despite being within the Akumana's line of fire, she says, "Only the A-Team was so precise with their shooting." Cure Stradlin says, "We need to get Chickenhead inside." Cure Hendrix says, "Good point." Then she and Cure Nirvana lift Chickenhead (Hendrix holding the hands and Nirvana holding the feet) and carry him into the studio. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ramirez witnesses the whole thing. "Damn you, Pretty Cure!" she snarls behind clenched teeth. "Lady Marilyn isn't going to be pleased when I tell her." And then she teleports back to Mansonia. Once there, she reports to Lady Marilyn: "I tried striking at Pistols N Flowers again. It didn't work. Pretty Cure managed to exorcise this Chickenhead character." Lady Marilyn says, "Excellent. You knew exactly where to strike. I like that at the very least." "Really?" "Yes," Lady Marilyn says. "But we need to work on the timing. I approved the strike, but not the timing." Ramirez asks, "Who shall we strike next?" Lady Marilyn says, "A relative of Pretty Cure who is also a part of this Pistols N Flowers group." Ramirez realizes who she meant: "Robin Kuno!" Lady Marilyn says, "Within a week, I'll tell you what to do concerning him. In the meantime, stay out of trouble with the law whilst in Isuten." Ramirez says, "Aye, milady." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (ED: "Raw and Wild" by Lovely and Wild Angels) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (Next episode preview) RIZUKA: SAKURA! SAKURA: Not now, Rizuka. I'm trying to get over Chickenhead having to recover from his ulcer. RIZUKA: But it's important! SAKURA: Really? RIZUKA: Yeah. SAKURA: In that case, spill the beans. RIZUKA: It's my dad. He's been possessed! SAKURA: WHAT!? This calls for some Pretty Cure action! Next episode: "The Melancholy of Sakura Cobain"! We're coming live and loaded!